There is a light

Well it has been quite some time and quite a bit has happened. Its been a whirlwind of "things". Ill start where we left off when I finished chemo.

Radiation is next so I went to the hospital for about 6 appointments in one day to get everything in order for radiation. So Ill walk you through that lovely day to the best of my recollection. Ill advise you now that if me talking about parts of my body that are not typically exposed to the public bothers you then you might opt to skip this whole update and check back in a month or so.

At some point in this journey as most of you know I decided it would be a great idea to uproot my home of the last 13 years and move while in the middle of chemo. Well this was probably not the best timing, but between my family and friends it happened. My brother came out several times to help and brought his friend Larry (previously referred to as Tim). They helped me get the majority of stuff to be moved out of the house and took Marylin to her new temporary home. Ill tell you this was no small task and I was not a whole bunch of help. So huge kudos to them.

After the house sold I had 30 days and no energy to get things done, so many friends helped me to make things happen and I cant thank them enough. I would thank them individually but like the Grammys I only have a captive audience for a short period. So thank you all!!

After getting everything out of the house I had to rent a AirBNB place for a week before I could move into my new digs for the next year. I had one week to be there, and one week before I started radiation.

So I was set to start radiation on a Monday and had to go on Thursday to get a blood test first. As luck would have it my blood test showed there was not enough O2 in my blood and I was summoned back to the hospital for a blood transfusion. Now, I was supposed to move to my new house the next day so this alone could be a story, but Ill skip it for when we are having a beer sometime. As you may have assumed this also delayed the start of my radiation.

I went to my first appointment about 10 days later early in the morning and it was with my radiation oncologist. We discussed the procedure, the schedule, any questions I had, and any possible side effects. Ill tell ya I was NOT a happy camper about the possible side effects. I was very much looking forward to getting some strength and endurance back and with the side effects it didn't look like that was in the cards for the near future. After several appointments that are not worth mentioning I ended up in the waiting room for what they refer to as the simulation. It is where they make a mask of my body essentially from the waist down. They told me that they would "either" make a mask, place 3 small tattoos on me, or use a Styrofoam type mold or my lower half. This is to keep me in the same exact place each time they do the radiation to prevent radiation going where I dont need it and ensuring it is going where I need it. They explained all this very well, I changed and waited in the room they told me to wait in. This procedure requires that I have a full bladder so they gave me a bottle of water and told me not to use the bathroom. Being a good patient, I did as they requested. After holding said bottle of water in what was now a very full bladder the nice nurse came back to tell me she "forgot" I had to also drink this special shake crap. Now, I have a very full bladder that I have been holding for what seemed like forever and I added the shake which had to be there for another 15 minutes before the simulation. Now when they got me back to the room of glow they drop my drawers and set me up on the table. Now they are explaining to me what is going to happen to me and I hear the word rectum and the word balloon being used in one, singular sentence. Now I have never heard these two words in the same day let alone the same sentence so I decided I must have been having a nightmare. As they continued to explain they mentioned MY rectum and balloon and told me the two would soon meet. Now I didnt have any mirror handy, but Im pretty sure I turned into a shade similar to Casper. Noticing my dismay they asked "didnt the Dr talk to you about this"? No the DR certainly DID NOT talk to me about this as I am sure I would remember such a thing!!! Ok... well Ill add it to the list of fun shit Cancer gave me. Do what you have to do and lets move on. So they did. Now the glowing robot starts dancing around me with arms slowly moving in and out and all around. This goes on for a few minutes and stops, a few minutes go by, and then the lovely young ladies come back out to talk to me. After reviewing the data of the robot they had decided that now my bladder was indeed TO FULL and we would have to start the whole process again. Now Im hoping this does not include the whole balloon thing but they informed me that yes it did. They would have to remove the balloon, take me to the lavatory, give me more water and another date with a balloon. So Im in the robe we all love with my ass hanging out, my bladder is so full my eyes are watering and they tell me the bathroom is right outside, so I didnt worry. Ok fine. So we go outside the door to the bathroom right there and it is occupied. So the quite literally run me to the next available restroom (about 1/4 mile away) to avoid having to call a janitor. I get in the restroom and relive myself of about 48 gallons aaaaand there is NO toilet paper. No I know I am going back to a room where 4 young ladies and a Dr are putting a balloon up my ass and I have no toilet paper. So I scream some choice phrases hoping that someone with a roll of toilet paper will hear me and have mercy on me, but as you can probably have guessed by now that is not the case. So I improvise and move on. Now we are headed back to the room and I tell the nurse to get some damn toilet paper and my experience and she and I are having a pretty good chuckle. She then shares it with the rest of the room and laughter fills the room like a damn comedy club. So we do the hole process again. They decide that I am very special so I get a tattoo, a mask, and a Styrofoam thing. About another 45 minutes and this appointment was about to go into the history books. As we finish up one of the young ladies says she talked to the Dr and he indeed may have forgotten to mention the balloon to me. Ya think? So now she was tasked with breaking the news to me that this balloon process would take place at every single external radiation treatment. At this point my vocabulary was reduced to that of one similar to Elmer Fudd. When I was able to speak I asked if the group of ladies that had already seen everything I dont want everyone to see would be the same group of ladies that would do so for the next 5 weeks. They informed me that they would not and there would be yet another 4 people that would have this wonderful experience. Now when I start to process all that I have learned today I start to think about the number one side effect of my radiation. This is what has been described to me as "uncontrollable, explosive diarrhea". So I ask them how I was going to NOT shit on them and the table when they stick a balloon up my ass. So by the end of the day I was not in a great mood. But the day was finished and I was moving on.

So starting radiation was a little bit tricky as my bladder needed to be just the right amount of full and I did NOT want a repeat of the bathroom run that I had to make. After a few treatments I learned to read my bladder and adjust as needed without even one extra trip to empty my bladder and start again. Radiation side effects are cumulative so they usually take a few weeks to catch up to you and then linger for a few weeks after (if everything goes good). True to the prediction this was the case. I was actually pretty lucky as my side effects have been mostly manageable. Knowing things get worse as it goes on my Mom was to come in for the last 3 weeks of radiation. By this point I had "pretty much" learned how to control the worst of it with diet. This isnt to say it was a walk in the park, but it could have been a lot worse. My mom heads home tomorrow and the 3 weeks have flown by, but Im very grateful she was able to come out and spend this time with me. While she was here I also was able to see my cousin that was in town, who I haven't seen in like 15 years. Was like we didn't miss a beat and so happy to see her.

As my external radiation started to wind down I had to do another "simulation" for the internal radiation treatment. That day was not nearly as eventful as the prep for external but still not something I care to repeat. I have now finished my external radiation and have 2 internal treatments left. My mom was here with me to ring the bell for the end of the external radiation.

I will complete radiation on November 11th and hopefully start to heal my body from the last year of being beat on. I was scheduled for a new ct scan and Dr visit in the middle of November to see if the cancer is in remission or not, but it has been rescheduled for the middle of December. The radiation causes internal swelling and they dont want to do a ct scan until the swelling is gone because it could case a false positive. I should hopefully find out before Christmas and Im hoping for a very nice Christmas gift from my Dr's.

A LOT of things have happened over the last year and last few months that I would never have been able to overcome without the support of my family and friends. Thank you all very much.

In closing there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel and I am fairly certain it is not a train.

Thank you all!