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Writer's pictureSusan Bedker

Todays term Scanxiety, brought to you by Susies Street

Well welcome back and Happy New Years! I hope 2023 is a healthy and happy year for us all. To finish out 2022 I had a pretty eventful last several months. As I mentioned previously I was scheduled for my scan to see if I was in remission on December 14th. As you may imagine this is a pretty stressful time of waiting and worrying. In the Cancer world we call this scanxiety. PetScans, CTScans, hell we get nervous when we do a virus scan on our computers. So one way or the other I just wanted an answer. I was feeling pretty good and I was fairly confident I saw cancer gathering it shit up, slumping its head, and whining on the way out, but I couldn't tell for sure if it made it to the door. Well on the drive home from the scan the DR called me and I'm thinking shit, this cant be good!??

Dr: How do you fee

Me: Ummm about the same DR: Are you fatigued or short of breath Me: Why yes, yes I am. But I have been telling you this for months... so... about the same.

Dr: You need to go the the ER because you have a Pulmonary Embolism

Dr: Did you not feel bad.

Me: YES! BUT I HAVE BEEN SAYING THAT FOR SOME TIME

Me: Do I have to go right now?

Dr: Yes you have to go right now.

Me: Can I stop and get some dinner?

Dr: No Susan you can not!

Me: Fine..

So I go to the ER where they are awaiting my arrival and check in. Im thinking this could be good, cause it means the Dr has reviewed the scan and if they saw cancer they surely would have mentioned it. OR... This could be bad because now I have a PE AND they found something in the scan. I have an appointment with my Dr the next morning, so I figure one way or the other I'm making it to that. I have been to this "go to the ER right now" scenario more than once at this point so Im pretty sure Im spending the night. So I call in reinforcements for assistance on the home front. Tracy and Matt came to the rescue and went to my house and got the dogs and took them to their house. Note that this is not the first time they helped me out of this bind either, so a huge thanks to them. So they take the normal course of action. Keep me overnight, do ekg, a very looong echo, give me heparin, blood work every two hours. They got done with their pokes and prods in a nick of time to get me to my Dr appointment with a shiny new prescription for Eliquis.


Dr is on time and seems in her normal demeaner. I guess when you do this shit day in and day out you probably increase the rigidness of your skin. So I wont keep you in suspense any longer.


No gross reoccurrence!!


That means that the cancer is not detectable, hasn't grown anywhere that they are able to detect and ultimately I am in REMISSION!!!


This is just the Christmas present I was hoping for and I am very grateful for it. It takes a village has never been more true in my life.


Ok enough good stuff, God forbid it all be good!!!


So while we kicked Cancers but for now, we got some side effects from treatment that are lingering and some new issues brought on from the PE. The two biggest issues were that my intestinal irritation seems to want to stay past its welcome. I tried to beat the shit out of it, but it did the same to me. I did discuss this with my Dr and they said that while it could still be from the radiation it didn't normally linger for so long. So we did a sample just to ensure that nothing else was going on. All the tests came back negative so its been attributed to my personality being so glowing that the darn thing just wanted to hang around. I "BELIEVE" it has finally left the intestines. I say that with caution as it has fooled me before. Just hanging out and waiting for me to be comfortable enough to fart without running to the toilet. I know.. I know.... but its real life folks.


Next was a pretty bad headache I got around December 1st and could NOT get rid of. I talked to my Dr about this too and she told me to take it up with my PCP to deal with. But after another 3 weeks or so and some dizzy spells I emailed her and said it was not going away. Back to the ER. I have not spent a night in the hospital since I severed my finger in the Air Force. I got to tell ya, Im about sick of scans, and pokes, and prods, and drs, and tests, and all the other shit. Anyway they didn't really do much for me at the hospital that time. Just a bunch of tests and some pain pills to cover it up. I had already scheduled an appointment with my PCP so she was able to give me some medicine to take the edge off. I will say it is much better, but I m not sure if its the medicine or its just better. With all factors my Dr wants me to do a brain MRI which I'm doing and should get the results from this week.


The PE (Pulmonary Embolism). Just for the record, I'm also sick of learning new medical terms and how to spell them. :-p. Anyway the Eliquis is to keep blood clots from forming which is apparently a fairly common side effect of Chemo. So the chemo caused the PE, the PE caused shortness of breath, fatigue, and also did some damage to my heart. Your heart having to work harder to overcome the clot often times does this. My Dr is not hugely concerned, but I do have an appointment with a Heart Oncologist.


The UBBER IMPORTANT part

My Hair!!! There is much rejoicing as my hair is growing back and actually I get a LOT of compliments on it short so I may keep it that way.


As a note I did get out to my brothers for Xmas and was able to get some small things done on Marilyn. Ill post those soon. She is ALMOST to the point that I thought I would be starting at when I entered this project.


I'm trying to get back to a state that is a new normal and it is going slower then I would like, but it is going in the right direction, so that is great. I'm very thankful that Mayo has saved my lil ole life at least 3 times that I am aware of. I'm grateful the cancer is in remission. But the thing I am most grateful for is the tremendous support I have received in this journey. Thank you to you all from the bottom of my heart!


I wanted to post a collage of some of the time over the last year, but there was just to much to fit into a collage, so I made a little movie. I included a few less than flattering photos for a few reasons, but primarily I dont want to give the impression it was all fun and shenanigans. Caner if eeefing hard! Its hard with a support group and I cant imagine having had to face it alone. Hopefully my continued shared experience can give some insight to the for anyone that might have to be a member of a support group in the future, or God forbid go through it yourself.


I do plan to continue my blog as I still have a few things I want to share and as my recovery continues. Also I will be hopefully picking back on on the blog about Marilyn.








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